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Well, in addition to it being National Cheese Day, it’s apparently also National Running Day. I’ve already taken a moment to commemorate the former, so I thought I’d finally relive the majesty and wonder that was the Flying Dog 0.10K Sprint for Spat at in honor of the latter.

I mean, it’s only been almost a month, right? It’s probably time I said something about it.

Anyway, let’s take a trip down memory lane to my April 25 column for The Capital to get a little background on the event:

On May 4, Flying Dog and the Oyster Recovery Partnership — along with the Ullman Cancer Fund for Young Adults — will be taking their oyster restoration crusade to Fell’s Point in Baltimore with the Flying Dog 000.10K Sprint for Spat race.

I should note that 000.10K is not a typo, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. I know a lot of you out there love your 573K fun runs. But to me, the term “fun run” is a bold-faced lie further perpetuated by propaganda from the nefarious fitness lobby. I prefer things like a “fun sit” or a “fun go-get-fro-yo.”

Lucky for me, [Holly] Manthei and the folks at Flying Dog understand me.

“We aren’t shy about admitting that a fair share of us who work at Flying Dog lead sedentary lives outside the brewery. We wanted to plan an event that would allow like-minded individuals — the kind who like to watch sports and like to celebrate other people’s athletic achievements with beer — to have their own day on the podium. Sprint for Spat is the race for people who don’t like running,” she said.

Bless them.

After powering-up on some 9 a.m. oysters and brews, people skipped, hopped, potato sack-raced, danced, beer chug-relayed, piggybacked, shimmied, Soul Train-lined and occasionally ran (boring!) the 0.10K gauntlet. 

I, personally, went for the awkward slow-motion running man, while Patrick opted to hike up his oversized Domokun Batman pajama pants and run backwards. We’re innovators.

The only thing that really got me was the oyster shooter at the midway point. Mother of god, the oyster meat was huge. That last photo up there? Those are the shooters. And mine kicked my ass. It was tasty to be sure, but if you’re trying to shotgun it and run… well, let’s just say I ran with this face to the finish line.

It was a long, arduous race, so we rewarded ourselves burgers, more oysters and even more beer while we cheered on the rest of the runners.

The nice thing about this event — aside from the obvious causes it benefited, the beer and the food — was how much fun it was for everyone. It was the absolute epitome of a “fun run.” I could have done without fracturing my ankle after the festivities, but hey. You can’t win ‘em all, right? It’s just a shame that it was the 0.05K back to the car was what did me in.

Injuries notwithstanding, however, this was the perfect way to cap off our anniversary weekend, and I’m already looking forward to next year.

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